I can tell you that it does get different. I can tell you that you don’t have any chance at finding the people you connect deeply with if you are gone. I truly hope that you give yourself a chance to find the right people for you.
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While I physically ache at my dog’s absence, she gave me and my body the power to recognize belonging.
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I’m finalizing a presentation on the ways that sizeism and eating disorders, separately and together, intersect for trans and gender diverse folx. While researching scientific and community based articles, it really got me thinking about my experience as a kid (a lot research is focused on trans youth) coming of age while recognizing my sexuality was different than almost everyone I knew.
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Our relationship with the people that raised us often forms how we relate to food and body as we grow and become adults. I’ve heard that the way we are spoken to as children is what becomes our inner voice/inner critic as we become more independent from our caregivers. I don’t know if this is exactly true. What I do know is that my parents had a major influence on my relationship with food and body. Do I think they caused my eating disorder? Nope. They were doing the best they knew how with the resources they had. Plus genetics, culture, finances, and all that. There are lots of factors.
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I don’t think I would survive very long without community. No, really. I don’t think I would. Community has always been incredibly important to me. It has changed and shifted over the years as I have learned and grown. I’ve been a part of many different communities over the years. They have all taught me different lessons and nourished a part of me.
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I did not always believe that fat people had a right to eat regularly and enough food, every day.
Nope. I had so much internalized fatphobia, weight stigma and bias that I very much bought into the idea that my fat body was a problem. A BIG problem.
Which meant that I shouldn't (read: didn't deserve to) eat regularly and enough food, every day.
It was impossible for me to feel much joy or pleasure, take up space, or gasp. . .feel sexy.
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Part one kicked off the series with Claudette Largess, MA, writing about her love for Julia Louis Dreyfus, Seinfeld, and her experience writing her dissertation on Fat Acceptance. You can read it here. The series continues with part two where Sarah Thompson writes about her experience in Health at Every Size® professional spaces. . Finally, the series will wrap up with part 3 where Rachel Millner, PsyD., writes a letter to her friends and colleagues in larger bodies.
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Great question! It’s really interesting to experience people’s reactions when they hear my business name. Some stare blankly at me. Some seem to look confused. Once while giving my elevator speech in a room full of networking professionals, a man couldn’t contain his laughter. I don’t know if it was out of awkwardness or actually thinking it was laughable. Someone once asked me why I used the word “fat” in my business name. And then. . .there those who get it. They really get it. And I am met with a huge, knowing smile and/or some version of “what a great name!”
