I can tell you that it does get different. I can tell you that you don’t have any chance at finding the people you connect deeply with if you are gone. I truly hope that you give yourself a chance to find the right people for you.
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Last night the seat next to mine on my flight was empty. This morning it isn’t. I’m not rolling in the dough enough to purchase a second seat ahead of time and wait to get reimbursed. So, I am going to have to see if someone will be willing to switch seats with me at the last minute where there is an empty middle. You know how willing people are to give that up. [insert eye roll] This puts me at risk of getting kicked off the flight.
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I did not always believe that fat people had a right to eat regularly and enough food, every day.
Nope. I had so much internalized fatphobia, weight stigma and bias that I very much bought into the idea that my fat body was a problem. A BIG problem.
Which meant that I shouldn't (read: didn't deserve to) eat regularly and enough food, every day.
It was impossible for me to feel much joy or pleasure, take up space, or gasp. . .feel sexy.
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There were many things that influenced my willingness to seek information about treatment for ADHD. But I was finally willing to seek out this kind of help.
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This is what I learned growing up. I've continued to hear this throughout my life. As recently as a few months ago, I was in a training where the trainer used the word fat as slur in an example she gave. When I asked her about it later, she said she used it as an example (without thinking about its effect on me), because it's the worst thing you can call someone.
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